


Craving

by moonfox281



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Feelings, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, I'm writting porn now, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Porn with Feelings, even just a little bit of it, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 06:56:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9480164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonfox281/pseuds/moonfox281
Summary: He had been craving for this for too long without knowing.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [13943](https://archiveofourown.org/users/13943/gifts).



> Happy Lunar New Year, Leiz! This is all for you, I wish you all the best and hope you'll have a wonderful year full of joy, success and happiness. Love ya so much!

 

 

 

 

The first time he felt it, he had thought it was just a regular hunger before the big meal of the day. After all, Alfred did have a noticeable talent in catering subjects. Never once he thought, that the unfamiliar twist in his gut and the feeling of warm blood pumping, spreading all over his body to the tips of his numb fingers could come from anything else, especially from the sight of a naked Grayson, covered in nothing but a towel around his waist. Faint scars and drops of water mixed together, all glowed like diamonds under the bright light of the chandelier.

He remembered feeling his ears hot and feet suddenly unsteady. He had blamed the lack of energy after training with father. But he hadn’t found the possibility in blaming anything for the track of his eyes on Grayson’s figure, on the hook line of spine on his back, on the narrow of his waist, on the wave of lean muscles shifted on those long legs when the man drew a straight line to the wooden wardrobe in natural grace.

    

In the end, he forgot what to say to him and slammed the door too hard be considered normal.

Drake had warned about this, about being 15 and hormones, but he refused to believe in them. After all, it could possibly be the demand for nutrient from his growing body.

 

Yes, at that time, that answer had seemed to fit so perfectly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The second time it happened, Father had thrown out a party to pet Gotham’s high-end social. The celebration was unnecessary, but for the sake of the company, they were all forced to appear.

 

“Smile, or people will think you’re about to bite them.”

 

Todd smirked, the devilish look on his face made him somehow understood why Mother had chosen him. He was old enough nowadays to understand the man had always held back his strength before him, no, all of them had.

Thinking back about the old times, no amount of embarrassment could be enough to describe for him.

 

“Shut up, I don’t bite!” He snarled, but it only seemed to humor the older man.

“Yeah, tell that to them.” Todd sipped his drink, the Russian vodka bottle he had snatched from the bar behind Alfred’s back. “You’re gonna frown and watch him all night?!”

 

The bottle jerked toward the middle of the room, where Grayson was barely notable, surrounded in a pool of guest. He held his champagne and smiled, the same charm Father had enchanted this city, and everyone laughed, heads snapped backward and drinks cheered. His eyes glittered under the light and his flawless skin glowed a healthy light bronze and rose that no amount of makeup could mimic. The tailored suit made a fine job on holding its self to his body, showing too little and too much at the same time. His tie was slightly out of place when a woman had pulled it in attempt to flirt with him.

 

Grayson was a pretty view, Damian was staring with full aware of that fact, just as much as everyone else in this room. Still, he didn’t state it out loud like the guests, neither would he review to Todd that the older man was doing the very same thing.

 

“I’m keeping an eye on him.” He said.

“For what?”

 

For what?

Grayson was a full grown man, he made his own choice in partner and love life. And it wasn’t like he got any say in that. Richard could just snatched a random guest in this ball and bring them home and none of them could do anything about it.

He had more than enough capability to protect his own dignity and pride by himself.

 

Then what exactly it was, that kept drawing his glance toward the middle of the room?

 

“I…” Never once he thought this day would happened, when he couldn’t find the word to fight back Todd’s sarcasm. Yet, he didn’t feel any rush of anger or humiliation, his eyes didn’t move away from the familiar body, the barely touched flute in his hand felt surprisingly heavy.

“Never mind.” Todd murmured and finished the rest of the bottle. “It runs in the Robins.”

 

 

Damian didn’t find the courage to ask what was that supposed to mean, so he stood there in silence, watching Grayson played his act till the rest of the night, feeling the tingle warm spread all over his body.

    

 

 

 

 

 

The third time he felt it, it wasn’t as pleasant as the last two times.

 

He had had a fight with him. In the end of the night, Nightwing left and didn’t even bother to smooth down the building tension between him and Father like he always did before he stormed off the cave.

 

He and Father fought after all. He retreated to his room and watched from the window Richard getting ready to leave the Manor with his bike.

Without him, Damian didn’t know how long it would take for him and Father to get along back to normal.

 

Richard was needed by many, his heart had many places to fit the whole of this universe, but Father, him, this whole family, they needed him, a little bit more than the rest needed each others.

Without this place, Richard still got many others to go to. But without Richard, they got no one, nothing. Drake and Cain would leave and Todd would force himself to bear the burden of responsibility that the acrobat had always done to his breaking point. He didn’t know what Thomas would do, but Brown’s appearance would remind them too much of him.

 

He watched Richard’s bike drove off the Manor in tingling fear of seeing him leaving. The thought that maybe this time, he had had enough of them all and might never come back haunted him each time Damian watched him and Father fight.

Fortunately for them, Grayson was a golden-hearted man and very easy to forgive. He always came back.

 

Still, the fear was still there.

 

His body was filled with that strange numbing feeling again, like poison flowing through every of his blood streams, hot and stinging. This time, it made his hands urge to destroy something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Richard didn’t show up on his birthday, two months after the fight both of them had had. Normally, the older man wouldn’t be angry this long, and he was never this careless and cold, always too caught off with emotions to miss any family’s occasion.

 

Looking at the room filled with strangers, Damian found himself spend the whole night looking for a familiar figure, the familiar beautiful voice and smile.

 

In the end of the party, he found Father stood in the shadow alone, watching, finding. There were sadness and a barely noticeable hint of fear hidden under the cold of his eyes, the same thought and feeling Damian was having right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He experienced that feeling a couple more times in the next years, whenever it happened, it was around of because of Grayson.

Like this moment, when Richard slept on the couch, curled into a small ball like a lazy cat, Todd’s leather jacket blanketed him. They had had a few drinks together after the meal, Drake and Brown had left soon, back to their shared apartment, Cain and Row were out patrolling together, Father had dismissed soon. It left him and Todd sharing the bar together, Grayson, a light weight he had always been, was knock out cold and moved toward the couch in front of the fireplace after the third glass of mocktail Todd gave him.

 

“So, how are you lately?” Todd fished out a bottle of whiskey on the top shelf and took out two new glasses that were more suitable for this type of drink and filled it with two round piece of ice. “Heard you just broke up with that girl you met at school.”

 

Damian waited till Todd handed him the drink and stared at it for a moment before answered.

“She wanted to finish it. We made a conclusion that benefits the both sides.” He emptied the glass with a slight frown. Todd and his choice of liquor.

“Yeah, keep your mouth all high and cool. It must have hurt like hell.” Todd smirked but there was a heavy weight on it, he finished his drink just as fast as it was poured back in. “Love always does.”

 

Out of all people, Todd was the last one he expected to hear that from. But looking at him, eyes stayed toward the couch’s direction, Damian was suddenly not so surprised anymore.

“It does.”

 

_It didn’t._

 

He didn’t feel hurt at all, sad, for sure, but not hurt.

Nicole was a classic Latino beauty, with tanned skin, bright blue eyes and long dark hair, strong, confident and kind at the same time, coming from a well-known family in Gotham’s high society, she was a perfect girl for every guy. A girl like that should break his heart for walking away.

Yet, Damian didn’t feel anything.

 

When she announced him with teary eyes yet a dry face (strong till the end she was), he was committed to many different emotions, surprise, confusion, disbelieve, and then sadness, but no, he didn’t felt hurt at all.

 

Only now that Todd said it, Damian realized, he didn’t love her at all. Or maybe he had, but till the end, he didn’t anymore.

 

_“I thought it was all in my imagination, but I understand it now, I just filled in someone’s place in your heart. You don’t want me… I don’t think you’d ever do.”_

 

Now that he finally understood what she had said.

 

 

“Damian.”

 

He snapped back to reality, and realized Todd was staring at him.

“What?”

 

He was surprised they hadn’t put on a fight yet. Maybe time did do goods on their relationship, after all, Todd and he shared the most common thoughts. Or maybe it was his maturity that had changed him, the closer he got to Father’s legacy, the more Damian realized how much of a fool and bratty he had acted in the past.

Sometimes thinking back about those old memories, the embarrassment burnt so hard he felt like stabbing himself with a katana.

 

But those shaming moments made he wonder how Grayson had been able to deal with a harsher version of himself on his first days in Gotham, and when Father had been washed into space and time. Everything had been difficult to him that time, but it must have been a lot harder for the older man. Yet, he had still managed to give a brat he had been a good home, a great mentor, a trustful friend, and most importantly, an amazing partner.

There was no denial that it was all thanked to Grayson’s kindness, patient and great heart, for him to be the way he wa right now.

 

“Crap.” He heard Todd cursed and the sound of the fabric of his shirt rubbing together. “It’s him, is it?”

It was only now that he realized that he had staring toward Grayson’s sleeping face the whole time. The warm light of fire from the fireplace danced on the smooth skin of his cheek, dark locks of hair curled beautifully and fell down his eyes. The shadow of his long lashes painted over the light bag underneath his eyes.

In his late 20s he was, Richard still looked as young and breathtaking as the same way he had been the first time Damian saw… No, maybe even more, time had done nothing but built on his natural grace and beauty.

 

“Of course it’s him.” Todd muttered under his breath and knocked empty the glass in his hand with a gulp. “I’m not even surprised.” The older man poured out the liquor again, but this time, he filled the glass to the brim.

“You know what?” He shifted, thumb playing with his own drink. “Neither am I”

 

This time, Damian made an attempt to look at the older man in his eyes. It was shameful to admit, but the power and energy underneath of those grayish blue made he felt threaten and small sometimes.

“Are you mad?”

“About what?”

“About what I feel for him.” He cocked his head toward Grayson’s place and dropped his eyes down the carpeted floor, didn’t dare to face the older man’s look. It was no secret for what he felt for Grayson, everybody knew it, even the villains they fought, and yet, the obvious truth missed out the most important one. A great detective he was, Grayson was always an idiot toward these kinds of thing.

“Kid, you can’t control your feeling… well, at least not to him.” He shrugged and locked his eyes toward the middle of the room and the shadow the light left on Richard’s face. “And why would I be mad? You and I, we both have to get in line.”

 

Ha, the ugly truth it was.

 

They were the closest one to him, but yet, they were the one that got the least chance to be with him. “Family” and “brothers”, he and Todd couldn’t help but hated those tags, as much as they both treasured it.

 

“Argh, you know what. You want something stronger?”

 

Like this wasn’t enough.

Todd turned and took a bottle down the rag, pouring it out sans the ice without waiting for Damian to answer. He watched the dark liquid slightly stirred under the rock of his big callused hand, and suddenly, Damian felt like he had never seen this side of him before, lost, hurt, and so unsure, like he had locked himself in a room with the key in his hand for too long time, desperate to get out but hesitate to face what would wait for him behind the door.

Suddenly, Damian felt like he had seen too much, like wasn’t supposed to watch this version of his brother when he lost in thoughts and locked his eyes on the other man on the couch, tucked under his jacket in front of them.

 

Without a single thought, Damian took his drink and emptied it.

 

Todd chuckled and shook his head when he watched him struggle to fight back the sting and the too heavy scent of alcohol. He let out a sigh then closed his eyes.

“Maybe you’ll get a chance.”

 

And just that was enough to make Damian stop coughing.

“What?”

“You heard me.” Todd smiled and for once, he felt like there was something breaking under it. “You’re brave enough to face what you feel” Todd said. “You’ll be able to win his heart.”

 

He had always thought in the two of them, Todd would have a better chance to be with Grayson. He, himself, had always been too much of a brother, a son to the eldest man for him to feel anything stronger than family affections.

 

“I’m too much of a coward to do the same.”

 

Todd was about make another round when they heard Grayson stirred and mumbled something. His eyes were still shut but there was a little frown in the space between his eyebrows.

For a moment, both of them were afraid Grayson’s had been awake for a while and overheard their little conversation, but the man soon got back to his sleep and nuzzled his nose under the collar of Todd’s jacket like a cat seeking for warmth.

 

“I guess you should get him upstair.” Todd looked at him and made a light nod.

“Yeah, maybe I should.” He looked back to Grayson and took a deep breath before walking toward him.

 

In this state on the couch, he looked so small and vulnerable for a fearless vigilante. Damian knew he had outgrew him since the age of 17, but right now, caring him in his arms as careful as carrying an infant with disturbing ease, the feeling he had got used to every time he stood next to Grayson hit him harder than ever.

The soothing scent of his, like wild flowers and Alfred’s mint tea, his peaceful sleeping face, his worrying light weight, and his barely hearable breaths, all mixed together and it was like taking a whole vase of red rum, he felt hot and tingled all over his body. His head felt like swimming and for a moment, his legs shook like he was going to collapse down the floor. But, for the sake of his own pride and Grayson in his arms, he steadied his stand and walked to the door.

Before leaving the room, he turned back to face Todd, still stood behind the bar.

“What about you?”

 

Todd smiled, waving his glass. He could see something sad underneath it.

“I think I’ll stick in here for a while longer.”

 

Damian looked at the older man again, and over the jacket he had pulled off Grayson’s shoulder when picking him up, feeling out of word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He didn’t know how much time he had spent in this room, but it was certainly more than enough to remember every detail on the walls, the toys and the blue elephant plushy the eldest kept on the rag, the names of every novel the man had on the bookshelves along with the gold medals and gymnastic champions cups, the old Flying Grayson poster in frame on the corner nest to his desk.

The sight of the room kept him from loneliness when the man was out of Gotham or hadn’t been home for a while. He remembered standing right here, with hand on the door knob, eyes dragged over every inch of space and just imagined what Grayson would normally do when he was in here.  

But now, with the man in his arms, warm and tired and sleeping, Damian just couldn’t help but smiled and just enjoyed the view.

 

He laid Grayson down the soft mattress and tucked his hair behind his ear, finger lingering longer than necessary on the fine skin.

The clock slowly ticked on the wall, the space was so clear and silent that a single cough down stair could probably be heard, yet he felt like someone could be walking behind him and he wouldn’t know it. His eyes found it extremely difficult to just tear away from Grayson’s face, away from the curl of his long dark lashes, from his pump lips and the high of his nose.

All of it, every inch of skin and curl and angle, it was driving his head round and round, making his heart beat like madness and filling his lungs with cotton. And when the man left out a small sigh in his sleep, Damian felt like every breath was sucked out of his body.

 

Was this what Grayson always did to him without conscious? Making his inner mad while smoothing the physical of his body? Swimming his head and filling it with kindness, affections and fantasies?

 

For a beautiful and kind-hearted person, Richard was so cruel.

 

Without conscious, he leaned in and attached those soft inviting lips with his, sighing in pleasure for the softness and how amazing it was.

The fire in him started burning again, numbing all his fingers and curling his stomach in to knots. He understood it now, why his body always reacted like this.

He had been craving for this for too long without knowing.

 

“I love you.”

 

 

Unexpectedly, Grayson’s eyes snapped open, as bright as the stars from Watch Tower’s window. Damian immediately shot backward, feeling an ocean of humiliation and shame swallowing him, but the hand Richard put on his forearm was strong and tight. The deep blue of his eyes threatened to drown Damian in the confusion of them.

Richard didn’t say anything, just widely stared at him like he had magically grown another head, his mouth was slightly opened, a tiny cut sound came out of it like a choke animal.

 

It felt like time had stopped, and the fire inside him had never died this quick before. He openly shuddered over the thought of what would happen next. More than ever, he felt like fleeing, running with his legs over his shoulder and never looking back, immediately regretted and angered at himself for letting emotions take control of his body for even seconds.

He just couldn’t face the fact that Grayson would now see him with different eyes, was too afraid that now he had lost his ‘brother’ cover and there was nothing left but his raw affection toward the older man being revealed.

 

Would Grayson kick him off the bed, shout at him and demand to never see him again? Would he politely refuse his love and pretend this had never happen? Would he stay distant and never come home again for now that he know his ‘little brother’ had twisted feelings for him?

He couldn’t bring the heart to admit that he was panicking.

 

If he had a katana now in his hand, there would be no surprise if its blade would sink deep between his lungs by now.

His head was on the verge of exploding when a soft pair of lips connected to his, sucking his breath away and leaving him wide eyes open. His brain literally stopped for one second until he fully recognized that it was Grayson and it was Grayson kissing him.

On his own surprise, he had tried to gently push the man away for some reason but that soft tongue curled and his mind went blank. The next thing he knew, he was already on top of Grayson, hands gripped tight on his narrow waist and pulled him flush to his chest.

 

When he pulled away, just far enough to put a thin book between their faces, Grayson sucked in a lungful of air like a drowning man and went limp in his hands, all soft and boneless. The arm he had hooked around his neck was now shaking and Damian felt guilty when watching those wet lips and the pinkness of his cheeks and felt the front of his pants tighten.

Grayson’s palm was suddenly removed from his chest and now touching his face, rubbing the skin near his ear and there was both sadness and happiness in his smile when he looked at him.

“Where have you been?”

 

 

 

For once since forever, Damian felt like crying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He had never thought that one day he would fully understand the feeling to have… what did they call it… butterflies in stomach?

But now, looking at Richard, twisted in the bed sheet, head buried in a pillow with sweat soaked hair sticking on his forehead, the heavy breaths he took, his hands fisted the sheet to white knuckles and the little noise he made every time he hit it right, Damian felt like having a whole zoo going wild in his guts now.

The fire was burning under his skin and with every thrust he made, it passed over to Richard, sending his back off bed, screaming his name like it was the only thing his pretty mind could worked out right now.

 

“Nng… I’m… I’m close.” Richard looked at him with hooded eyes, sweat rolled off his face like crystal running of marble surface.

“Don’t hold back.” Damian snapped his hips forward, knocking Richard’s head back with a choke sound, and though he thought it was impossible, the sound and sight of it made his cock twitched and got harder.

“Let it free, my love.”

 

He felt the head of his cock hit Richard’s swollen prostate with  _every_ thrust. He looked down, even though the face Richard was making was quite a sin too, and watched his red hole stretch around him, swallow his length to the very end of it. On the inside, it was like stabbing a hot cantaloupe, he was so tight and velvety it made Damian wondered maybe this was what he was made to be.

When Grayson clamped down on him, he grunted out a sound that sounded a lot like an hungry wolf, couldn’t help but jabbed his beloved’s inside like an overpowered machine.

Dick sounded like he was dying, every high pitch noise he made just kept getting higher and rapider. He looked down to his bottom half like he couldn’t believe this was happening. It made Damian smirked and put his hips to a breakneck speed with every snap made hard contact to his prostate. He ducked down and bit Dick’s nape for what felt like a thousand times this night, but never enough. And just like that, Grayson was lost, back arched off the bed so high he wondered why the man even got a spine. He slumped down the bed, boneless, breathless and just laid there, covered in sweat, hickeys, bite marks and his own come.

 Damian knew there must be something broken in his mind for thinking this was the most beautiful sight that could ever exist on this universe, but it was fine, because this was Grayson, and his beloved had a tendency to transport his craziness to others.

He wouldn’t mind to be this twisted for him, though.

 

He continued fucking him, chasing his own orgasm when Dick just laid there and took it, too fucked out and exhausted to do anything. And maybe it was a little too much for his poor hole, it was already red and swollen and this had been their 4th round. Damian felt slightly guilty when Richard winced every time he took his seat on breakfast after these kinds of night, but that guilt was quickly washed off when he saw the marks he had left on his skin, and the face Drake made when he saw it too like he was going to vomit was priceless too.

The fire that had eaten him over the years, he now had embraced it, lived with it and no longer wonder the existence of it. Deep down, he knew he would continue to feel it till the last of his breath, and he didn’t mind it anymore, because he understood it now, more than ever, with Dick underneath him, in his bed, stuffed full of him, and said his name like it was his pray, Damian was happy he had felt this way.

 

This feeling, it wasn’t love, no, it was something stronger, it was his soul craving for the other half of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I write fics and stupid quotes, find me at [here](http://moonfox281.tumblr.com/)


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